And I wonder...

...the things we do....the choices we make-and that's exactly apart of the problem - is it really our choice? Grant it I have had a similar conversation with someone I really care about (she is my interest of heart heh); we agreed that in life people are able to choose but the choices are limited- not the exact words but something along those lines. We agreed that God knows what choice we will make despite numerous choices we have...  But what stirs my mind at the moment, goes just a little deep; are the things we do, our reactions, and attractions are they by our own conscious choice? A "choice" we developed on our own or a choice influenced by...well anything? Or I dread the idea that choices we make - most especially when it comes to relationships and physical attraction - is based upon the scientific theory about "natural selection" - the whole thing about the "best genes". Are these emotions that we claim to have are they fake?

I rebel against the idea that our emotions mean nothing....

(I'll probably finish this post another time...)

And this begins...

So here I am again...Eating almonds, drinking aloe,watching the Shining (Stanley Kubricks' version), and online job searching.For some time I contemplated creating a blog like this - topping off about six or eight other online accounts. I believe there is a term for people like me, who have a multitude of online accounts and e-mails; I think it's called online schizophrenia - but I could be wrong not the exact term that is used. But I finally initiated this blog due to the thoughts that just manifest in my mind at these awkward hours. Insomnia? Probably. A problem? Not sure. There is a theory that people who are more active at these hours and not during "normal" are completely fine: delayed sleep reaction is apart of that theory. But back to my purpose of this: I do write my thoughts down every now and then - especially when they really start to become rampant - but I'm not really a writer. This blog is nothing too candid; can't reveal everything; what's life without a little mystery.  But I feel I have to make something out of what distracts me from my sleep...or from whatever...
I hope this blog would be another useful method of inspiration and self motivation; but grant it I don't think it would as significant as my actual inspirations and motivations....

(she says she doesn't know me...this is probably true. Maybe she would stumble upon this and it will help....)